Embracing Hope: Finding Peace in Letting Go After Giving It Your All

”It’s always something, to know you’ve done the most you could. But, don’t leave off hoping, or it’s of no use doing anything. Hope, hope, to the last.”

–Charles Dickens

Throughout our lives, we hold onto optimism and maintain faith in our own capabilities and for some a higher power to manifest our desires. As a child eagerly anticipating Christmas, I, like many others, held onto the hope that Santa Claus would grant my wish for a coveted toy. I made a conscious effort to be kind, to refrain from asking for too many items and to diligently complete my homework and chores. On Christmas Eve, following Mass and festive family gatherings, I would go to bed, filled with hope that my good behaviour would yield favorable results. Sometimes they did, while other times they fell short. The beauty of childhood lies in the ability to fully embrace the present moment, allowing emotions to ebb and flow without dwelling on any one feeling for too long.

I am scheduled today for my 3 months scans after being diagnosed with BC Mets in August. These scans, including the CT and bone scan, will provide crucial information to my medical team regarding the presence of NEADS (No Evidence of Active Disease) or the extent to which the cancer cells in my bones have been diminished. Additionally, they may reveal indications of heightened cancer activity in my bones or progression in other organs.

Today is my Christmas morning. I have adhered to my medication regimen, made significant changes to my diet and continue to pray to my higher power. At this point, I have done the most that I could. However, I am not going to leave off hoping. Hope is my companion today. I hope to receive something more special than any toy in the Sears catalog: the gift of health.

"Hope to the last!"